Ode to the Bro (Brode)

Wrote a poem in my spare time. Note: all names are used purely for rhyming purposes or because I felt like it, no bros were harmed in the making of this poem. All opinions implied or otherwise are not mine, or maybe they are, whatever, don't complain about it, it's meant to be funny, not taken seriously.

Ode to the Bro (Brode)

‘twas the night after finals, and all through the dorm,

not a creature was sober, not even a worm.

The cups were all placed on the table with care

In hopes that a pong ball soon would land there

The bros were all cheering while sitting on beds

While visions off hook ups did dance in their heads

With josh in his polo, and I in my hat

Soon we would hopefully be in a frat

When out in the hallway arose such a clatter

I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter

Out of the door I ran oh so quick

And who should I see, but my good bro nick

He ranted and raved, clearly quite hammered

With a rather hot girl he was quite enamored

Her shirt was up high, and her jeans riding low

To my drunken brain, she struck quite a blow

She danced and she sang all over the place

Quickly I felt the blood rush to my face

I gathered my wits, and struck up a plan

After tonight I would be the man

I glanced over at Nick, he was too drunk to care

And I prayed that the girl would ignore his stare

I popped up my collar, and pushed back my hat

I was going to get some, I knew about that

I walked up to her, quite ready to talk

But out came her friend, and my cock she did block

Was she a grenade? Oh you bet she was

Why was she hating? That’s just what she does

“Let’s get out of here Nikki” This party blows

We hook up with dudes here, and we’ll just be hoes

Nikki looked over at me, her eyes said “oh well”

And just like that I was in blue ball hell

But Hark! Out of the darkness an angel did come

It was my good bro Nick and his bottle of rum

Clearly he saw my need to get laid

And like a good soldier, he jumped on that ‘nade

He said to her friend “we need to talk”

and soon after that my cock was unblocked

I went over to Nikki, brew in my hand

The vibes she was sending, I couldn’t withstand

We chatted a while about this and that

And I got a chance to show off my sweet tat

When all of a sudden danger approached

A senior came in, she was gonna get poached!

He went up to her, smooth as all hell

My appeal was waning, that I could tell

I tried to think quickly, but I pulled a blank

And soon she had left, some asshole to thank

I thought this was bullshit, Nick knew it as well

That senior and Nikki could both go to hell

We looked at each other, the same thought in our head

And back towards the grenade both me and Nick sped